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May 24 2017

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it must be pretty exhausting being a neo-nazi publicly

updates about richard spencer being constantly shit on by everyone has been the best meme of 2017 tbh



Photo by @birdandmoon

I don’t know about y'all, but I always leash my octopus when I take it for a walk.


guys listen

mermaids would have to be dark-skinned and chubby to survive in the ocean 

water isnt a great means of protecting oneself from the sun
theyd have to be very dark if they were shallow mermaids and they didnt want to be constantly sunburnt
and they may be paler if they lived deeper in the water but theyd have to be buff and/or chubby as hell to resist the water pressure and cold of the deep sea

what im saying is pale-ass white skinny mermaids are just unrealistic

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This is important.

It’s not a “loophole” it’s explicit within the text of the amendment

“Loophole” lmfao like it’s a fucking accident, like it wasn’t purposefully structured to reclaim and expand a source of free labor

We never outlawed slavery in America. We simply transferred ownership of slaves from individual landowners to the government and large corporations.

Other fun facts about prison labor corporations:

-Federal and state-run prisons usually pay their slaves minimum wage; some states, however, like Colorado, pay $2/hour.

-Private prisons pay $.17-.50/hour. The highest paying private prison is in Tennessee, which pays $.50/hour for “highly-skilled labor.”

-You think that hasn’t affected wages in the US? You think that hasn’t removed manufacturing jobs from the economy?

-Companies that contract with private prisons for their slave labor include: IBM, Boeing, Motorola, Microsoft, AT&T, Wireless, Texas Instrument, Dell, Compaq, Honeywell, Hewlett-Packard, Nortel, Lucent Technologies, 3Com, Intel, Northern Telecom, TWA, Nordstrom’s, Revlon, Macy’s, Pierre Cardin, Target Stores. Many, many products that say “Made in USA” were made in prison.

-Private prisons often have quotas with the states, wherein the states contractually guarantee that they will provide a certain number of prisoners to fill the beds of a private prison, and if they don’t then they owe the private prison millions of dollars. I’m not making this up. It happened in Colorado after they legalized weed.

-States have a financial incentive to lock up their citizens.

-All of the above corporations have a financial incentive to see citizens get locked up.

-This is why Jeff Sessions is going after weed. The prison industrial complex needs slaves.

-To the shock of absolutely no one, private prisons have even more disparate racial demographics than federal/state prisons.

-Where do you think they send undocumented immigrants who have been rounded up? That’s right, private prisons. That’s why so many of them are in the South. So they take immigrants who are earning some kind of comparable wage and paying income tax to the government, and put them in prison where the wages are absurdly depressed and the prison pays virtually nothing in taxes.

-Oh yeah: private prisons pay virtually nothing in taxes. Because they technically manage real estate (prison as housing), they get all sorts of tax breaks and subsidies.

Tl;dr the prison industrial complex removes jobs from the economy, depresses wages, cheats the tax system, and ENSLAVES PEOPLE, usually people of color.









Pretty much just watch the 13th

And read The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander!

The subversive meaning behind “job creation”.

See also today’s Twitter thread from Samuel Sinyangwe about prisoners in Baton Rouge working on the capitol grounds and in the governor’s mansion:

Here’s the nola.com article he references.

the tweets above were added on may 19, 2017


girl are you a fire hydrant because that dog is peeing on you

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One of my friends went on a road trip and sent me this

Reposted byprimeval primeval



This is a decidedly unfriendly reminder that I don’t want you following me or liking/reblogging my posts if you are a Trump supporter, neo-Confederate, TERF, neo-Nazi, or a supporter of any other sort of white supremacist or fascist movement. Get the fuck out. I don’t want you here.



hi i’m guy fieri and welcome to dungeons dragons and dives

“You come upon a small town: Flavortown.”

disney princesses reimagined as the foreboding sense that Something is coming









I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.


So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”


So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.


So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.

I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.

I have reblogged this a dozen times and I will reblog it a dozen more.

This needs reblogging. I’ve read this before, but it’s still priceless.

I don’t reblog this amazing piece of human cooperation, assume I’m dead

This needs to be a movie.

remember to drink lots of water, because your insides are a swampy bog and a water shortage would affect the local frog population


coming out of my cage and

going right back in

not gonna say it again!!!!








a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline

FINALLY someone said it!!!!!!!

a SWAMP is a wetland whose vegetation consists of trees or other woody plants

a MARSH is a wetland with other forms of vegetation

ALL wetland is highly desirable property and holy ground

Take a fucking sip babes, of this tea; not the wetlands.


Tumblr: actual factual if obscure information presented in an oddly aggressive way as if the reader should already know this, and then the thread dissolves into dadaist nonsense.


Not wanting to sound like I’m shaming anyone who doesn’t understand the US tax code, but y’all need to know, anyone who claims that rich or marginally rich people pay over half of their income in taxes is full of shit.

Firstly, because the highest tax bracket is 39.6%, which you might be able to tell is less than 50%.

But second, because the US tax system uses graduated brackets. No matter how much you make, the first $9275 is taxes at 10%. If you made $10K in 2016, a whole $725 is taxes at the second tax bracket of 15%. If you make the median US income of $51,939 then you’re still going to have $9275 taxed at 10%, and then $28375 at 15%, and the remaining $14,289 at 25%. If you know anything about math, you can probably tell that this means, even though your tax bracket is 25%, you’re not actually being taxed at 25%. At that median income, your real tax percentage is actually 16.86%

And thirdly, this is all based on normal income. Long term capital gains, i.e. the biggest source of income for affluent Americans, are taxed at a substantially lower rate.

So once again, no shame if you don’t understand the tax code and think it’s too complicated for you to get. But I can 100% guarantee that anyone complaining about the rich paying “too much” in taxes is either straight up lying, or manipulating their data so much that it no longer even bears a passing resemblance to the truth.

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I’m getting sarcastic responses to this that “well, girls just don’t want to be talked to…. Guess guys will never be able to enter a relationship ever again because we can’t approach women”.

That’s not what this is saying.

There’s a time and a place for everything.
A woman sitting on a bus, wearing headphones, trying to get home after work might not want to talk. Might not want to be hit on.
A woman at a bar, at a club, or another social setting probably won’t mind talking to someone new.

Look around… Read the room. Respect other people’s privacy and boundaries the best you can.

Women in public are there for their own reasons. They’re not venturing out for you.

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A human skull found with a broken spear / sword still embedded in it. The skull is said to be that of a Roman soldier who died during the Gallic Wars.

is he okay :/





Shoutout to fat girls in the summertime. Shoutout to fat girls who wear jeans even though it’s 90 degrees because they don’t like the way their legs look. Shoutout to fat girls who wear a t-shirt to swim because they don’t like the way people look at their stretch marks. Shoutout to fat girls that only wear dresses with sleeves because they don’t like that their arms aren’t perfectly proportioned. Shoutout to fat girls who wear cardigans with button-downs because they don’t like the spaces between the buttons buckling because of their boobs. Shoutout to fat girls who don’t care about any of that stuff and wear whatever they want. Shoutout to fat girls who don’t want to care about that stuff, but do anyway. Shoutout to fat girls who have to work very hard everyday not to care about that stuff. Shoutout to all fat girls in the summertime. You’re all absolutely fantastic and you’re doing fine. Be patient with yourself, you deserve it.

I was the fat girl who wore a tee over her one piece and I was the fat girl who wore cardigans during the summer to hide the stretch marks all over my back. I don’t hide myself anymore



I Sold My Beanie Babies And Now I Can Afford Avocado Toast And Homes.

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